Swimming Lessons

Joel happy at the pool.

Joel has had swim lessons all this week and he is doing better each day. He was terrified of the water on the first day and clung to me with his arms wrapped around my neck and legs around my waist. He cried as we tried to do what the girl was teaching and slowly got more comfortable by the end of the first day. Every day since has been better than the day before. On Thursday, we went in the afternoon to the outdoor pool at the Rec. Center with Caitlin and Chris. He was very cautious of the new pool, but warmed up rather quickly. Caitlin and Chris had fun with him too. He kept a death grip on my hand or whatever he could grab, like my swim suit top. By the end of the 3 hours swimming, he wanted to jump in off the side of the pool (with the life jacket on, of course) for me to catch him and get his head under water. GO FIGURE? At the very end of the afternoon, he was jumping off the side to me and I was letting go of him and he'd doggie paddle to the ladder and go again (with a life jacket). I am so proud of him for the progress he's made in the 4 days he's had lessons!

They have taught him to float on his belly and his back, while mom holds on and NO floatie. He has learned to go under to get his head wet, he loves that part. And, he has learned to circle his arms while on his belly and do the back stroke while floating on his back. The motions for the back stroke are chicken (imagine the position you'd do for that), airplane, soldier. Joel loves airplanes when he sees them on TV or in the sky. He calls an airplane a "air-paney". It's so cute to hear him say and do the "chicken-airpaney-soldier" motion as he practices. He really thinks he's a big boy now.

Well, that's our first week of summer! Caitlin had her first two days of Color Guard practices this week and Chris went with us to the Rec. Center to play racket ball twice and just vegged out the other days! They get to go to Grandma and Grandpa Landin's for this next week. We will go to Corpus Christi to pick them up and celebrate Joel's birthday, Father's Day and Ilan and Eliana's 6th birthday. It should be fun.

Chris's final performance of the 2008/09 year!

Christopher Landin, 12.5 yrs in 6th grade


Today we had the Band O Rama at the high school. It's when the 6th through 12th grades from the area schools play their final performances of the year. It was like a big city wide pep rally with 2 middle schools, a Jr. High and the High School playing. It ended with the marching band for the 2009/10 school year playing a few pieces and the Bucs (high school) fight song. The Lake Jacksonians LOVE their BUCS (Buccaneers which are pirates). It was awesome. Caitlin got to watch the Color Guard girls perform a dance routine using flags. It was so pretty. She made Color Guard (Flag girls) and is so excited! The have won a lot of awards at contest in recent years. 2 of her closest friends are going to be in marching band next year so they were in the final performance. She will get to be in band with 2 of her best friends which should make it exponentially more fun!

Chris plays the Baritone. He is going to be in 7th grade band next year and maybe choir too. He tried out for the choir and Mr. Hill the music teacher that Caitlin has had the past 2 years wanted Chris for his Base section because his voice is so deep now. Last summer he had the raspy hoarse sounding voice and he could barely talk! Now he's got the deeper voice of a young man. The fun thing tonight was seeing how the kids improve each year. Chris's 6th grade did great tonight. It was so fun! When he is in 9th, Caitlin will be in 11th. They will be at Brazoswood together for 2 years. We will be going to A LOT of games now! So fun. I got that teary eyed, goose bumps all over my arms excitement. Joe said for us it was going to be almost like being back in high school!

The year is coming to an end already??? How did that happen? It really feels like they just started the school year a few months ago. I hate it that time is moving so fast. I know it's inevitable that all my kids are going to grow up and out of the house. It's just too fast. I know you know how that feels. Anyone who is close to kids, and sees them grow, knows how fast they change. On September 3rd, Chris will be 13 and that will put 2 teenagers in our home. God help us! Please pray that we remain sane and we still have our hair. Oh, I mean I still have my hair. Joe lost his a while ago, literally!

Recipe for Strawberry Cream Freeze: Three Ways

I got this recipe from my Martha Stewart magazine in this May 2009 issue. I made it for Caitlin's birthday. She helped me make it. I think it is great, but next time I will put a little less Cool Whip because I'd rather taste more cream cheese than Cool Whip. Everyone loved it and the whole pie was gone in minutes! Glad I made two!

What you need:
(1) pkg. 8 oz. cream cheese
(1) cup cold milk
(1) pkg. (3.4 oz.) vanilla instant pudding
(1 1/2) cups thawed Cool Whip whipped topping
(20) Nilla Wafers, coarsely broken
(1) cup sliced fresh strawberries
(1/2) cup strawberry ice cream topping

Make Filling:
(prep time: 25 min)
1) Beat cream cheese in a large bowl with mixer until creamy.
2) Gradually beat in milk.
3) Add dry pudding mix; beat 2 min.
4) Stir in Cool Whip, wafers and berries.
5) Swirl in ice cream topping

To make (1) 8 inch pie: Spoon filling into 6 oz. pie crust. Freeze until firm. Serves 8

To make waffle bowls: Freeze filling 6 hours or until firm. Scoop into 8 waffle bowls.

For mini pies: Spoon filling into 12 muffin liners. Freeze 4 hours and remove linings.

OMGosh, I have a teen daughter! Caitlin turns 14!

Caitlin (Kay Kay), 14 years 5/17/2009 Caitlin at 9 in 2004
born 5/17/1995

Well, my sweet daughter (step-daughter if I have to be specific) turned one year older and will be in high-school in the fall. Look how beautiful she is!!!! It's so hard to believe that 5 years has gone by since she came into my life. She was 8 1/2 when we married. Just a little girl. We have grown so close. I'd like to say that we are friends too, and I think she would say so. It's been such a privilege to see her developing into a young woman and to be an important part of who she is becoming. I know it must be so hard for her mom to know someone else is influencing her daughter and knowing all the experiences she is missing out on by not being there every day. I know, because I missed out on these very years with my sweet Tyler. He really changed and became his own person after going to live with his dad. I felt those were such "crucial years" and I was so afraid I was going to lose that bond we had. But, so far, I don't think we have lost too much. I know that is why I am so careful to teach Caitlin how to be sensitive, kind, gentle, caring, loving, generous and thoughtful. I would hope that her mom in some way will be relieved that I am trying my best for her daughter (and mine). Sharing family is hard on everyone, especially the children. You can make it work, but it is just that, a conscious effort to do so every day. I am so blessed to be a mom and Caitlin is my only girl. I guess God put me in her life for a reason and I hope that I fulfill my purpose as her mom.

Captain Underpants!

SUPER JOEL/Captain Underpants!

Protecting the galaxy with his might and his speed!

Sleep Over's, Camp Out's and "Sleeping in my belly"

Joel has been interested in having "sleep-overs" and "camp outs" lately. He has been asking about having a friend over from his preschool. He wants to be so big! A couple of weeks ago his twin cousins who are 5 were supposed to come over to visit and he was super excited about actually having someone to sleep over with! It all started because a couple of months ago, I let Caitlin and Joel have a camp out in the living room when Chris had a sleep over at a friends house. I took a huge blanket and made a tent/fort over the sofa bed in the living room and they read library books and had a great time. Joel had his little rocket flashlight from Loews to keep him safe and when I checked on them later, his little light was still on and his legs were draped over his sister. His feet always have to touch you when he sleeps. I was the same way when I was little. It's so funny how things we do or did, come out in our kids behavior too. Anyway, Joel has been having a "sleep over" with Chris some nights during the week and I try to save it for the weekend cause they get ROWDY before they finally settle down and sleep, but sometimes dad overrules mom and they enjoy it. Chris loves having Joel sleep in his room and Joel of course thinks he's so big. It's very sweet. Notice in the picture that Joel has no shirt on like his brother! He has been insisting on "sleeping in my belly" which took me a while to understand what he meant, but it means sleeping without his pajama shirt on like Chris. If it's too cool, I don't let him. Since he was an infant I have had the hardest time keeping him covered at night. I could not keep him swaddled cause he would kick his legs to get the blanket off and then he would get cold and wake up. Most of the time, I still have to put him in full long sleeve and long pant pajamas because he won't keep a sheet or blanket on himself. Not tonight, though!

Pilates and preschoolers

Joel was doing pilates with Caitlin this afternoon. He did over half the workout with her and was sweating so I know he was working hard! It was so cute to see him trying to do the exercises. He was really watching Caitlin close and trying to do it just like she was. He did better than I could I know! Here are four 30 sec. short clips of the two of them during the 20 minute workout. In the last video, watch and listen to what Joel does and says as he gets tired and is ready to go outside! He left to go out and practice his "dribble ding" with Chris who was doing some basketball drills. He has his own size basketball and he's good at it for his age! I'll get pictures of Chris and Joel doing drills on here soon. You have to click on the links below to see the clips. I had to upload the short videos from my cell phone, so making them links is the only way I could get them on here.


1. Leg kicks, hamstring stretches and push up's

2. Tummy exercises! Don't know what Joel is saying in this, but he's cute because he doesn't do the hands and feet at the same time like you are supposed to. He just moves his hands, then wiggles his legs a little! Notice how he keeps his eyes on his sister? He really is trying to do it correctly!

3. Joel is trying to do some side stretches and he's pretty much sitting and moving his arm up and down! Then he gets in Caitlin's way for the next position!

4. Finally, Joel's had enough of the workout and tries to make it a race to the finish, and he's the winner! He says, "I do it real fast"! then, " I win"! and "ha ha ha ha"! and then does a couple more and then "Ok, I'm done"! and he walks off......

Mother's Day

We were having a great Mother's Day at home. I did not have to cook! We had left over King Ranch casserole with pinto beans and Mexican rice. Afterward I used some very ripe bananas with some frozen berries to make smoothies. The kids love smoothies and always ask for me to make them. None of my children were able to drink their smoothie without getting it all over their top lip. I love that! One thing I have noticed is you can tell that your kids are still kids when they drink or eat something and the evidence all over their faces! Kids just enjoy food! Mine two older kids still get excited when we have a treat so I guess I am lucky. I know one day they won't be so carefree with enjoying what they eat. What a great end to a great day. I am a very loved mommy!

Lil' Bow Wow is clean!

                           Superman
         Up, up and away!

Super Joel
.......Flying

Superman

He's blowing the enemy away!

Joel looking sharp in his new hair cut and shirt.

Joel and I had to go to Pearland today so I could get my fingerprints done. I have to renew my RN license and I was randomly picked to get my fingerprints done. We went to Chick-Fil-A on Broadway and it was packed with kids in the 2-4 year old range. I let him play a long time, then we went to our appointment. I have the toughest time getting my son to look into the camera or just in the general direction of it. Once I get him in place and ready to pose, he immediately starts to avert his eyes off the camera, then his head starts to turn in the direction of his eyes and it's all downhill from there. I then put him back into his pose and ask him to "say cheese" or what have you and he gives me this smile that is not a smile it's more like a pained grimace or a joker face, oh and his eyes are looking off to some place other than the camera. He gets so excited to take a picture, then no matter how fast I try to be, he's not in it "for reals". I don't know what do differently to get him to take a good picture. He sure is a handsome boy though. Oh, by the way, this so so picture, took about 5 takes.....sigh...........

Green giant..... Green thumb.....Mr(s). Green Jeans

One of our flower beds around a backyard tree.

Our first attempt....

OK! ....... So we are attempting something completely new.......to learn how to grow veggies, herbs and plants and not kill them. I went to the library and got a couple of books on square foot gardening and lasagna gardening which is layered gardening in raised beds. I don't think we are doing the raised beds, but I am interested in container gardening and the square foot gardening. We are going to try the Topsy Turvy Tomato planter too. We got it for $9.99 at Target.

Green thumb or brown thumb?

I should not speak for Joe, but I will.... neither of us have ever been gardeners. In the past, I have not had the best luck keeping any plant alive, except for Herbert my rubber plant. I should be a green thumb considering that my paw paw has grown a two lot sized garden for decades and my mother is good at keeping plants alive. Herbert was a pretty small rubber plant that I got in 2002. Rubber plants are tropical plants and they are hardy which is why I have had success I guess. They actually like to be root bound and they like to go long periods between watering! Now he's a small tree! I have re-potted him about 4 times. I named him, because I wanted something to take care of and if I named my plant I knew I would remember to take care of him. I have even neglected an ivy plant and it died! Who kills ivy? And, once I was given an African violet and I could never get it to bloom once the initial blooms fell off. I read they are supposed to be easy to grow. Not for me.

Our forest friends.....

Anyway, we have a large space around this tree in our backyard. It is close to our back porch so we can admire the view. We have little critters like rabbits, squirrels, opossum, raccoons and hawks who visit our yard. Well, the squirrels are permanent residents and they are our main concern. See, the tree is a pecan tree and it is the home of many squirrels. They love to bury their pecans in the yard including our flower beds and especially under this tree! Last year, we planted some pretty flowers and within a week, the darn rodents dug up half our flowers looking for their pecans! I used to think squirrels were so cute, especially when they chase and play. Not when they mess up my plants!

They're not my friend anymore!

Another thing they do that bugs me, is they raid the bird feeder! I have a pot hanger drilled into the side of my tree and a cedar bird feeder hangs from it. The little sneaks take their back claws and dig them into "their" tree and lean out with their front feet onto the bird (squirrel) feeder and munch away as they look in the window making sure I'm not coming out to shoo them away again. Sometimes two at a time are eating with more in line waiting their turn. One "holds on" to steady it (while eating) and the other stuffs his face while keeping a lookout. Meanwhile, the sparrows, finches, redbirds and blue jays are trying to dive bomb the stingy squirrels and reclaim their feed. The squirrels run from the blue jays and wait watching for them to fly off, to return to the feeder.

Squirrels....can't live with 'em

One day last week, the squirrels did a raid on the feeder and it was half gone. Frustrated, I moved the bird feeder to a plant hanger on the overhang. It hangs in front of the window in our breakfast area that looks out to our new flower/veggie plantings. I thought moving it would keep the rascals from taking advantage. Kid you not, within an hour they proceeded to hop from their tree's branches onto the my roof and climb down onto the bird feeder and have their fill. Others jumped onto the plant stand under the window, then hopped onto the window screen and sprung up onto the bird feeder. All while I was watching and banging on the window and saying "go away"! They just looked at me like "I'm eating it anyway....nanny, nanny, nanny"! I really hope that they realize that we dug up all their pecans and leave our "garden" alone. My dad has a squirrel story or two to tell. They are smart little buggers just ask him. He battled with them for years at our old house and finally he just let them be. He spent tons of money on all sorts of traps. In the end, he knew he'd been out squirreled. I don't want them to get the best of my garden though! Since we planted seeds, maybe my gardens will have a better chance. I am seriously thinking of getting a squirrel feeder for them (Joe says he's getting a pellet gun) so they can leave my gardens alone, and a squirrel proof bird feeder for the birds. I figure if we distract them with what they want, then maybe they will leave my garden alone.

Tough times....

We planted a fragrant flower mix on the south side of the tree closest to the house. On the back side, we are doing our first attempt at some veggies and herbs. I don't know how successful we will be, but we thought it would be fun to try. If we are successful, then we can save some $$$ at the grocery store cause we love veggies! Tough times call for tough measures! Plus, I thought we would all have fun learning to be a little "green" and a little more self sufficient. It's a fun project for me and Joel to do together and Caitlin wanted to try out her green thumb too. We also started some seedlings indoors in these cute little pots I found at Target. They were in the $1 section for $1 each. Joel, Caitlin and I planted them today and put them on the window sill in the kitchen.

What we planted.....

In all, we planted some sweet peppers, basil, chives, parsley, oregano and tomorrow we are going to clear another bed for tomatoes and strawberries. I have some space for a few other things so I am thinking maybe yellow and zucchini squashes, or lettuce, or Serrano peppers, radishes, cucumbers, or maybe cantaloupe. Just a little, not rows and rows. I know this sound ambitious, but if anything grows, it will be fun and productive and a good lesson for the kids and I will feel like I have lost my brown thumb. I'll have to keep posting on the progress. If anything grows, I will have to show it off of course!!!! Please let me know if you have any suggestions, especially about the squirrel problem. Anyone else trying out a vegetable garden? How is it going for you? What problems have you had and how have you delt with them? Any advise on pest control? I hear birds and bugs LOVE strawberries and tomatoes. Anyone know a safer alternative to pesticides?

"Helping" dad wash the car

Today is a nice day and hot too. Joel and Chris were excited to help dad wash the cars. They got their suits on and were ready to help. The boys "helping" Joe lasted a good while. But they finally got tired of helping and just played in the water, spraying each other and dad too! They had a blast. It's so cute, at the end of the video, Joel is saying "peace" and holding up his tiny fingers. Caitlin taught him that.....big sisters!!!

Joel doing windows.... with a smile


Joel loves to help and he asked what he could do while we were cleaning house on Saturday. He does a great job on the windows....at least the parts he can reach. Most of the fingerprints are his anyway...Ha Ha!

My own sweet superhero!

Joel asleep in the car



Joel got these glasses from the movie theater when we saw Monsters vs. Aliens. They are actually 3D glasses. He likes to wear them around the house while playing. He thinks they are super hero glasses and he never wears them right side up. They are always upside down. My superhero went with me to get Caitlin after school and he fell asleep on the way. He was snoring! So cute!!!

This weekend...Random pictures and videos

I had some help washing dishes. Joel liked playing in the water and helping mommy clean up after making a cake.

More on growing up....

I read Kelly's blog today at Kelly's Korner that has this post of Darius Rucker. I just had to post it here. This song is awesome and for anyone who has kids, especially girls. Since I have one "step" daughter, who I am very close with it is so sweet, but I also have Tyler who is already 19 and in college all the way down to Joel who is already 3.5 years old. I remember when Tyler was so small and it seems like yesterday. Now, I have 4 kids total and they have all grown so much, so fast. Now that I am older, and I see my littlest growing like a weed it makes it bittersweet to watch him change... he's my last "baby" and it's hard ....Those of you who are parents/grandparents, you know what I mean.

Playing at the park

Joel-3years,9months

3'3" and 38lb.

Man, all my kids are growing up! Too fast! My baby boy is already almost 4! He's got one more school year and he's going to start Kindergarten. What??? It seems like I just brought him home from the hospital. Where did the time go? My sweet Jo Jo is so independent. He wants to dress himself, brush his own teeth, go to the bathroom with no help and he puts on his own strap fastened shoes. He always tries to tie his other sneaks too.

Joel is wanting to grow "bigger". He will say after a meal that he grew and then stand there with his hand raised over his head "measuring" how much taller he's gotten. He wants you to see how much he's grown. I always act like he has. When we are out somewhere, he constantly sizes up any other child he sees and says he's bigger than them even if they are 5 or 6 years old. He says "I'm bigger than that kid" (or "boy" or "grill-for girl"). I'm embarrassed to say this, because he probably watches too much TV, but he always see's something on a commercial that he wants for his "birthday". He talks all the time about "Bakogons" a toy, which is clearly for boys who are over 6 years old. EVERYWHERE we go, he will look at other kids, even babies under one and say " That kid isn't old enough for Bakugons" because I told him he was not old enough yet to play with those toys.

Joel is very strong willed. Joe says he's just like me in personality, but he looks like him. It's pretty much true. We are having a challenge right now....I mean since he turned about 18 months old, he's been throwing fits and screaming. Now he is a terrible whiner too. I think it must be the age, but I am doing everything I know to redirect that behavior. I personally can't stand whining. It really gets me. If anyone knows what works to stop the fits/causing a scene ie: (stomping/jumping up and down, crying and screaming which escalates at home into rolling on the ground and screaming/crying louder). I read recently that usually by age 4 kids stop doing this, but he will be 4 the last day of June. Anyone have success with this......anyone? Advise is welcome.

Sisters and Brothers

Caitlin fell asleep on the couch a few weeks ago and Joel was tired too, so he climbed up there with her and snuggeld up and fell asleep on top of her! I walked in and found them asleep like that before I moved him to his bed and had to take this picture! About a year or so ago, Caitlin started calling Joel her "cuppycake". It came from a Strawberry Shortcake cartoon she used to watch when she was small. She taught Joel the song and would sing it to him all the time. He loves music and listens to all the songs she sings for her choir performances. When we go to the performances, he knows all the words. We have to keep him from singing along! He learned the Strawberry Shortcake song and would sing it while he played. Somehow, they both started calling each other "cuppycake". When Joel gets mad at Caitlin, he'll say "your not my cuppycake anymore"! Then he will go to her and hug her and say "Kay Kay, I love you, your're still my cuppycake"! He can be such a charmer.

Caitlin is in the play Annie Jr. at school. She's playing one of the orphans. She has been practicing the song and dance routines and guess who is right there singing and dancing along? You guessed it. I have to hear "It's a hard knock life" over and over and over. It is cute, but it gets old after a while. About 3 weeks ago Caitlin was in a talent show/fundraiser at school. She chose to sing the song "Realize" by Colbie Calet. That is another song that he will bust out singing for no reason. He wants us to listen, but if you act like you are listening, he gets shy. Funny! We watched the movie Bee Movie last weekend and the old song "Sugar, Sugar" was on it. I was singing it and he asked me to sing it over and over till he could sing the parts. He gets many words wrong, but that makes it more endearing because when he's done, he just looks at me with this huge grin and clearly wants me to make over how good he was. He LOVES it when I do..... My song birds.

My house is full of music! Chris is in 6th grade and in his first year of learning to play the Baritone. It's like a small tuba. He's really getting good at it. He tries to pick up songs that he knows from the radio to practice with. It is not an easy instrument to play. He tells me you have to move your lips different ways to get the notes and there are only 3 or 4 finger keys to work with. Joel and Chris are either best buds or they are fighting, just like brothers do. Joel always wants to go where Chris goes. He's outside digging in the dirt, riding his tricycle and playing with rolley pollies right along with Chris. They go to the "secret " clubhouse that is in the ditch behind a friends house. They have top secret boys only meetings there and Joel gets to go sometimes. Chris is so good with Joel. Joel says "I'm not little mom, I'm big"! Oh man, he's going to be 4 years old June 30th. I can't believe the baby I just brought home "yesterday" is already 4! That can not be possible.

Baseball is life

Tyler is playing baseball at Marion Military Institute. He is in his sophomore year. The team is getting in their groove and in a conference right now. He's playing well. For those that don't know, MMI is in Marion, Arkansas. It's a small town 1 1/2 hours south of Birmingham. I haven't been able to see him play. It's hard not be there. He loves having friends and family come to see him. Hopefully he'll get to play when he finds his next school. Marion is only a 2 year military prep school. I am really hoping he stays in Texas!

The things to remember: Part One, In the beginning

I have now joined the ranks of millions of others who love composing the chronicles of their lives. For me, it's for posterity's' sake and for friends and family members who just aren't close enough to hug every day. I believe we all have a testimony to share with our lives and hopefully this blog will be a lot about that. Having a journal allows me to see the miracles God is working in my life as it happens and, that He cares about every detail. Being able to remember trials God has brought me through gives me hope by seeing how he answered my prayer. These lessons I want to never forget. I have been loving my sister-in-law Valerie's blog. Because there are too many miles between us, that is pretty much how I have gotten to know my little nephew, Braxton (Brax for short). That's definitely a future Major Leaguer's name right? Even though I have only hugged him a couple of times, I feel like I know him through his mommies eyes. Val is such a great mom, you can see that from her blog! And oh man, I can't wait to meet my future new nephew/niece. More on that as soon as we know who he/she is going to be.

My husband Joe and I have 4 children combined. Since my blog is about my family I will be introducing us to you. I have a few good stories to tell =). I thought I had my life all planned out. As it turned out it did not happen at all the way I planned. I was going to graduate high-school, go to a great university (OU Sooners baby) and be in a sorority like all my friends. Then I'd graduate with a degree and start my fabulous career. Sometime in the middle of the college and career years I was just sure I was going to meet my prince charming. And boy was the laundry list of traits l wanted in a man long and totally unrealistic. Only God knew I was going to take the LONG route before I found out there is no such thing as perfect people no matter how hard we try.

To tell it right, my story starts with my oldest child, over 20 years ago. On July 4th, 1988 I found out I was pregnant. I got married about 3 weeks later. I had just turned 17 years old in May and I thought I was so in love. My first everything. Now, I was a teenage wife and mom and I was in my senior year of high school! There was only one or two other moms in my whole school that I knew of. I felt totally alone. There was no one I could talk to that could really understand what I was going through. I knew my friends could not relate to me anymore and to some degree I could not relate to them either. I definitely did not fit in with parents whose kids were my son's age. It was a lonely time for sure. Tyler's dad and I tried to do the best we could. Neither of us (like most teenagers) could truly fathom what "forever" meant but I think we thought we were in love and we were giving it our best effort. From the day I found out I was pregnant, I remember feeling completely numb. I felt like I was dreaming, just floating through each day. It was a lot like watching someone elses life, someone I didn't know. It was surreal. I was just going through the motions of planning a wedding. You would think I'd be excited about picking out stainless patterns, linens and china. I didn't even have a clue about what colors I wanted. Somehow I didn't feel it mattered. It was more than I could process at the time. My mom helped me narrow down the choices and make the final decisions. The responsibility we took on to be young married parents was overwhelming for both of us, but speaking for myself that is what made me work harder. I felt too many things were happening at once and I had no control anymore. I had to find the things I could control and focus on those things. That was hard to do in the midst of everything I was facing. I realized I could: take care of my son, work, go to school and be as successful at those things as possible. I felt like I had something to prove to the world. Always eager for approval and to please others; I needed to show everyone I met I still had a future just like my peers. I pushed myself hard to behave responsibly and show that being a teen mom was not a waste of perfectly good potential. I knew the statistics and they were not good for most teen moms. That was not going to be me though. I was not defined by what I was, but who I was and I strove to be seen as an exception to the rule. I wanted to be as adult and as responsible as I could be. I graduated high school with all my peers, I still made straight A's that year! I started college in June right after graduation, instead of having a free summer like a lot of college bound kids. I also took an EKG tech position in the Cardiopulmonary dept. at the hospital. I wanted to work in the hospital to help me decide which medical career was best for me. That decision influenced the career choice to be a nurse..... I knew there was absolutely nothing I couldn't do! When my marriage dissolved in my sophomore year of college, that determination kept me going, for my son.

I had many life experiences, and good and bad choices, that changed me and grew me in profound ways. My parents and my ex-in-laws were key in helping me to succeed. They kept me and Tyler grounded and I believe neither me nor Tyler would be where we are without their help and positive influence. I think Tyler is one of the most emotionally stable kids I know. I will be forever grateful to them for their love an support. They were God's angles in my life when I needed them most. That is what parents are and I learned from them. Tyler's dad has always been involved in his life and they are very close. Being a young mom grew me up earlier than my peers, but I would not change a thing. I learned that it's easier to make bad choices when our faith is not strong. For me, it often came as a result of trying to put someone else before myself and what I knew was right. Like a lot of people, I used to keep a mental list of things I would never do. You now what they say about saying "I will never do ____". Well, I somehow walked right into quite a few of those webs. I had yet to recognize how the enemy tempts us with lies, and believing those lies keeps us from considering the consequences of our decisions. I learned much later in life that if we are not careful, sin or mistakes or whatever you chose to call it, lurks in the shadows of the seemingly innocent things, and without the Holy spirit to guide us, we fall for the lies. What we end up with takes us places we never thought we'd go and costs us more than we could ever imagine. That could not be more true. We all make mistakes, and if we think to look back, we see clearly where the temptation came from. Honestly, I would not change a thing because God used those bad decisions for good. He got my attention and I am wiser because of it. I realized I needed Jesus to be my savior and Lord of my life...and nothing could be better.than that God has taken the bad (choices) in my life and turned them into beautiful blessings, so many times over, I can't count! I am so amazed by God's wonderful grace and mercy :-).

And now, I can't believe it! I am going to be 38 in May and Tyler turned 20 years old on January 20th! My sweet, dear baby of my youth. He's the only person on the planet who I can say is not only my child, but I grew up with him too! He knows me almost as well as I know myself. He's been there through it all. He even walked me down the isle when I married the man I prayed so long for! He's really not a child anymore though. I miss all the stages as he grew. He was a really good baby. I remember I prayed for God to give me an easy baby because I knew I could only handle so much! He was always happy except when he had colic. Gosh that seems like yesterday! I feel like I should still be 28!

Tyler decided to come into the world 6 weeks early. I didn't even get to finish the Lamaze classes! I was sitting in my room at my desk. It was about 11:30pm and I was finishing my Trigonometry homework. (Gotta love trig). I had been having a lot of braxton hicks contractions all day long. Kevin was watching TV. After a while, I finished my homework and walked around the house. It felt better walking than to sit. I tried to find a comfortable positoin. The discomfort never eased. I had been having low back pain, but that was expected. I had just been to the OB earlier that day for a check up. He said the baby was not all the way down into position yet. He never expected that I would deliver early because most first pregnancies go at least 40 weeks. But I had a feeling I would deliver early because I came 6 weeks early when I was born. I remember being dilated at 2 cm that afternoon. Doc said that it should be at least several weeks before I delivered. At about 12:30 pm I kept pacing and I had pressure like I needed to go to the bathroom. I kept sitting on the potty and expecting relief. I knew pregnancy was uncomfortable, but I was not sure it was true labor since he was my first. But, it was labor and it was moving fast, only I did not know it yet. I took a bath. Delivery was 6 weeks away, so I thought it would be alright. It did not relax me anyway. I went to bed to try and rest. I had learned the braxton hicks contractions would calm down with rest. They didn't. I could not sleep at all. I could not find a comfortable position and the pain was getting more intense and they were lasting longer. I woke Kevin up and we started timing the contractions to see if they were regular and how far apart they were. At around 3 am I went into my mom's room and told her I was having some really strong and regular contractions. They were now about 3 minutes apart. I got to the hospital and the ER doctor sent me straight to the L & D floor all within a few minutes. Once in my room they placed the monitors on me and my belly and checked my cervix. They were surprised I was already dilated at 8! No false labor here! My water had not broken yet. Tyler was still too high. I did not even have time for my epidural! They told me I was doing really well, but at this point it was too late for an epidural so I had no choice but to have a natural birth. I think I would have freaked out with the needle used to place the epidural anyway. I am a nurse and I hate needles when pointed at my body! It had been causing me a lot of anxiety thinking about the damage that needle could cause if not done just right! My nice doctor came right away and by 5 am I was in the delivery room. They broke the water and were concerned about the cord getting around his neck. Things looked good. I was given some Demerol to ease the pain right before I pushed. I pushed 5 times and my Tyler Wayne was in my arms at 5:40 am. He was so small and pink! I was really thinking how hard it would have been to push him out if he had been full term but he was so small it was almost easy. He had a beautiful round face and lots of black hair. He was short and only weighed 4lb 7 oz. Just what I weighed when I was born! Remember he came 6 weeks early like I did too! He had some trouble breathing so they took him to the NICU to be closely monitored. He did well on O2. Since he was early and his lungs weren't fully ready to breath air, he had some apnea and they needed to monito his breathing. He looked so small and delicate. He had a lot of lanugo on him (hair). Most premies have that, but it falls off before birth when babies are full term. I could not believe he was mine! I was overwhelmed with emotion. It was the most incredible thing ever. A new life was created! It still moves me to think God allows us to be a part of creating another life! We went in to feed him that week as much as we could. He had to learn how to suck on the bottle. We learned so much from those nurses and the grandparents were there with us all the time. The nurses nicknamed him "spike" for his black spiked hair. He was just so small and compact and cute. He was strong and was doing so well. He had a stubborn personality from the start. He was always placed on his tummy. (That was when tummy was how you put them to sleep). He hated it and was strong enough to half roll his little body onto one side pushing with his knees and feet and his rump in the air. The NICU nurses fell in love with him and were sad to see him go. Once we got home, no matter how we placed him in the crib, he would try to roll onto his side. We finally just propped him up with a rolled up blanket on his side and he liked that best. He came home with a monitor for apnea for about 2-3 months. He never had one episode though. I was afraid of SIDS and I would get up in the middle of the night just to check on him even though the monitor had an alarm. I just had to make sure he was ok. They knew even less about SIDS then. Thank God he was healthy being so early and so small. Everything was normal and as it should be except his tummy. He had colic and spitting up.

From there, he grew well and caught up to his size and weight by 2 years old. We battled frequent tonsillitis and at 2 1/2 years old, he had them removed. After that he was we had no more illnesses. He imitated everything his uncle Mike did. They were best buds. For the first year of our marriage we lived with my parents. My brother turned 12 the year Tyler was born. After I graduated high school, we moved into our own place. We were always over at my parents or my in-laws. Tyler is close with all his uncles. Greg, Leo and his aunt Shelley too. He was the center of attention most of the time. He gained a love for sports from watching his dad, uncles and grandfathers. My brother Mike was into playing basketball and baseball and when Tyler could finally drag a bat or pick up the basketball, he was in the middle of all the guys. He thought he was as big as they were and all of Mike's teammates and friends loved having Tyler around. They called him little buddy. He was everyone's little buddy! He would drag the bat to the dugout thinking he was really a part of the team. The bat was almost twice as tall as he was! He took it VERY seriously. When he could finally fit into the smallest T-ball pants they made we got 'em and later, cleats too. He had to wear them to EVERY game. He was there with my parents for most every game because I was either in school, studying or working. I don't think he missed me! He was in heaven. The players enjoyed having him around and they called him their mascot. He continues to this day to love baseball.

From the time he could talk, and he started young, I would be in line at the grocery store, or picking him up from soccer or school, or wherever, and people would ask about him. He drew attention everywhere he went. Not because of bad behavior. But because he was so dang charming and could make conversation with anybody! He never knew a stranger! Funny, cause now, it's hard to even get him to talk! I always called him "my little man" because after my divorce, he was the main man in my life. It was just a nickname our family used. Anyway, I would get asked all the time if he was my little brother, or someone I was babysitting and he'd say with a smile, "no, that's my mommy"! Of course I was never, ever ashamed. I was proud of my precious blond headed hazel eyed boy. I would explain that he was all mine, and people were always impressed. I don't know if it was me they were intrigued with or my handsome, friendly, articulate little boy! Next they would ALWAYS ask me,"how old are you? You look too young to have a child that age"! Glowing with pride I would telling them that I had him at 17. I always added, "and I can't believe that when I'm 38 he's going to be 20"! That always put things in perspective for them! All the time, people would encourage and admire me for doing what all parents do, teach their kids how to behave and use manners! I enjoyed hearing how well behaved and polite Tyler was or how cute and smart he was. I would not take all the credit though. I was so fortunate to have help raising him. Kevin was as involved as a busy working student could be. Because of my school, work and study schedule, Ty spent a lot of time with both sets of his grandparents but mostly mine. I had felt from the beginning that no matter what happened with me and Kevin, we would always put Tyler first and give him the most stable life we could. I never said bad things about Kevin in front of him and we never had arguments in front of him. I wanted him to respect me and his dad and have as normal a life as we could give him, no matter if we were together or divorced. Being divorced is hard enough, but showing ill feelings about your ex puts the children in the middle and they get confused and feel torn which creates fear, mistrust and instability.

Ty is a sophomore in college now, and is playing outfield on a baseball scholarship. He still loves baseball. If he could have his dream it would be to play pro. I don't care what he does, I could not be more proud of my little man! I love him so very, very much. Sometimes I still can not believe how far we've come!